


The Seasons of You

by Joo_rin



Category: SHINee
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, mention of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 21:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10344516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joo_rin/pseuds/Joo_rin
Summary: Jinki knows what Jonghyun needs better than anyone.





	

When Jonghyun doesn't answer his texts and calls for two weeks straight, Jinki fears something wrong happened. He doesn't need much to assume the worst and, while he usually has a very good control over his emotions, he can't keep the worry from eating away any logical thought his mind produces to explain the situation.

 

He knows he shouldn't be working himself up, because really, it's not like it's the first time Jonghyun goes into complete radio-silence without warning.

 

Over ten years of knowing each other and dealing with each other's struggles should've equipped him to deal with that kind of situation. To some extent, it did. But two weeks is too long of a period without any update on the younger male's well-being.

 

So Jinki does the logical thing to both sooth his worries and make sure his friend is out of harm's way. As soon as he has a break from work, he makes his way to Jonghyun's apartment.

 

When he exits the elevator at the younger's apartment building and makes the never-ending trek down the hallway towards the door of his friend's apartment, Jinki can feel the anxiety in him forming a knot in his stomach. He takes in a deep breath, telling himself to keep his calm, that the situation doesn't need him making it all worse by letting his own emotions run wild.

 

As he stands in front of the apartment's door, he stares at it for a couple of minutes, wondering whether it's even worth it to press the doorbell and wait for Jonghyun to open, when the younger might as well never come. That little voice in the back of his mind convinces him he should at least try before foregoing his manners and just barging in.

 

So he presses on the doorbell and waits. A minute, two minutes... five minutes. He sighs, brings his index back up to press the doorbell and hesitates. Setting his jaw, he averts his gaze to the door-pad and switches his finger's trajectory to type in the code.

 

There's a ding and a click and then he's pushing the door open.

 

He steps into an apartment plunged in darkness and closes the door behind him.

 

There's the anxiety again, making his stomach roll as he scans his dark surroundings. There's the faint smell of incense, pines and mint in the air, likely from the candles Jonghyun keeps around the apartment.

 

Not even a ray of light sips from the large windows in the living-room, covered in heavy and thick black curtains.

 

Silence is predominant.

 

Jinki hates every second of it but he knows better than to make too much noise.

 

He simply slips off his shoes at the entrance and walks further into the apartment. He doesn't need light to see, when he knows his way into it by heart.

 

Before he can step past the living-room, he feels something warm come to press against his shin and looks down. He takes out his phone and presses a button to see what it is with the light from its screen.

 

Roo stares up at him, her deep brown eyes almost pleading. She doesn't bark, barely whines. Jinki doesn't even remember having ever heard her bark.

 

He smiles softly down at the puppy and crouches, scratching behind her ear, “hello Byulroo, how are you?”

 

She licks his wrist in response to his question and Jinki feels his heart melt. He absentmindedly wonders whether Jonghyun even had the heart to feed her the past weeks and then brushes the question aside, knowing his friend would never neglect his beloved puppy, no matter how deep in his depression he could be. He reasons that if Jonghyun didn't feel like he could take care of her, he would've made sure she was tended to by either his mother or sister.

 

Even still, Jinki goes in the quest for Roo's bowl in the kitchen. He finds it half-full and finds another bowl with water for her, near the wall opposite to the dinning-table.

 

Roo follows him diligently and Jinki smiles down at her before he comes back on his steps and walks towards the staircase at the exact opposite to the kitchen. He slowly starts his ascent, knowing that at the top, he'll be met with the door of Jonghyun's room. The younger's sacred heaven.

 

At any other time, Jinki would've hesitated to even go there because he knows it's the place Jonghyun's cherishes the most. The very embodiment of the younger's intimacy and Jinki hates invading his friends' intimacy.

 

But not today. Today, for his own selfish reassurance, he needs to see Jonghyun. Needs to make sure the younger is alive, that's he's fine despite the emotional state he most probably is in.

 

He stops in front of the door, noticing how it's slightly open, most likely in order for Roo to come and go as she pleases. Jinki knock softly on the wooden surface.

 

He hears the ruffling of sheets and then silence again.

 

Jinki doesn't knock a second time, he merely pushes the door open a little wider to reveal Jonghyun's bedroom.

 

Contrary to the rest of the apartment, there's a dim lighting in the room coming from the artificial fireplace on the opposite wall to the door, and from  the  led surface where Jonghyun keeps the candles above the head of his bed.

 

The black walls feel like they're closing in on them, even though the room is so large it makes up for half the common room downstairs.

 

Jinki steps inside and pushes the door behind him, leaving it open just slightly, mindful of Roo who is still following him.

 

He looks toward the bed and sees the lump under the dark covers that is Jonghyun.

 

Already, he can feel himself relax, although he still feels worried.

 

He walks to the bed and sits down on it, reaching over to slightly pull at the covers.

 

“Jonghyun?” he calls softly.

 

There's the slightest movement of acknowledgment and an unintelligible grumble.

 

Jinki feels himself smile slightly, “I'm sorry to barge in like that, I was worried about you.”

 

There's a sigh and then Jonghyun is turning on the bed so he's facing Jinki as he pulls the covers off his face.

 

He looks tired, small dark circles under his deep brown eyes. His skin is pale and his brown hair is sticking everywhere.

 

“How are you feeling?”

 

Jonghyun shrugs.

 

“Have you eaten lately?”

 

Another shrug.

 

“Do you want me to make you something?”

 

Jonghyun shakes his head and Jinki doesn't insist. He knows better, so he simply brings up a hand and runs his fingers through the younger's bangs, Jonghyun closing his eyes at the contact, “is there anything I can do?”

 

The younger's lids flutter open slightly and he stares at Jinki for a long minute before pressing his lips in a tight line.

 

He doesn't speak, merely scouts to the side, making space on the bed.

 

Jinki understands the wordless request instantly.

 

Jonghyun is never very vocal when he feels like that. He always communicates with stares and gestures, as ambiguous as they can be. But Jinki knows him like the back of his hands, there are things he knows just with a look from the younger. So he sheds off his jacket and lays by the smaller male, feeling as Jonghyun slowly curls up to him, resting his head against his chest and sighing deeply.

 

Jinki wraps his arms around the other, content with just being there. Knowing his friend is breathing and that, despite the darkness and the cold surrounding him, he's still fine.

 

Long minutes pass as they lay in silence and Jinki feels lighter than he's been feeling the past few days. 

 

He won't ask and he won't press Jonghyun. He'll let him have his way, go through it like he always does. He'll just be there, as the younger's pillar, his support because that's what he knows Jonghyun's needs.

 

Despite the natural worry in him for his friend's condition, Jinki is willing to give him what he needs as opposed to what people would recommend him.

Jonghyun doesn't need words of comfort or any optimistic prognostic for his condition. He just needs time and understanding.

 

Jinki learned, a long time ago, to just welcome Jonghyun's winter and let it run its course.

 

And until his spring comes, Jinki is ready to face winter with the younger, no matter how harsh it can be.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by a recent broadcast of Blue Night, where Jonghyun mentioned welcoming and not fighting against his down moments. His "winter", as he calls it and how a fan once comforted him about it. I identify with Jonghyun a lot and that's probably why his words struck me so hard and also comforted me.
> 
> As for Jinki... I admire him so much and I stand firm on the idea that he is, incontestably, SHINee's main pillar.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed!


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